I just had a dream about DevilCake. And I was in it (as in, in the band again).
It was some festival and we were on the bill as ‘DEVIL KATT’ …and the songs listed were songs I didn’t know. Further down on the bill was ‘SAMARKIND’ so I assumed Ian was on the bill twice (don’t know if I was part of that band in the dream or not).
Gourley and Ian were the only two other members I interacted with in the dream. I was heading to the trailers to change (this place was massive) and donned a set of dirty orange mechanics coveralls. I said something to Ian about not knowing any of the songs and he just kind of looked at me in that ‘oh silly boy…you know this stuff’ kind of look he sometimes has.
Gourley was clearly pumped for the show (some things never change, it seems).
And then off to the side I heard “Have fun today, honey.” It was Nancy.
And then I woke up. To Nancy telling me to have fun today (honey) at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Museum (Jen and I are heading up today as a combo birthday present to her, fathers’ day present to me).
There was more to it…the Manga style of the flyers….listening to the crowd…hearing the synths in the sound check (apparently Devilcake got their keys back). And feeling that nervous/exicted feeling I would get before shows.
So, what does it all mean?
Eff if I know.
Clearly I have unresolved issues related to Devilcake. I’m not going to deny that. I hated the way it ended (for me) and I hated the rift that it (and other events at that time) caused between me and Ian. And I think Ian and I are to a better place with it now, but I have to say that there are aspects of that time that still make me go ‘WTF, mate?’ The pain is gone, and I’m not bitter about it (at least I don’t think I am). But clearly there’s a part of me that misses being on stage and playing gigs. The funny thing is…that realization is hitting me NOW…when I can’t foresee any time in the schedule to even BE in a band, let alone play out.
Smell that? That’s irony.