Lard Ass

First off, I’m not even sure that Blogger will let me keep that title. We’ll see.

Now….what does it all mean? You clicked here and you’re instantly greeted with something that could definitely been seen as derogatory. And it is.

But it’s also me. I’m the Lard Ass.

Oh…it’s ok. I’ve embraced it. For now. But soon…very soon, I’ll be letting it go.

Two things are starting up in my life tomorrow (well, today actually). A shift in diet and nutrition. That would be the first thing.

The second thing is…I’m making a movie again. There’s a few of you that know why that may be shocking. And it’s cool. Don’t get too crazy with the Cheez Whiz. This isn’t a big-budget Hollywould flick shot on the latest model of Red camera that’s out there. No. This is a little video journal. An auto-bio-pic, if you will, shot on my POS Nikon L24 (no, it’s not one of those point and shoots that shoots in HD. I’m tellin’ ya folks this is lo-fi).

Lo-fi. This is not about flash. This is about being real. Real people don’t have make up artists or personal trainers or personal chefs. Real people have $90 cameras and are trying to do the best they can to not screw shit up.

And sometimes real people cuss (yeah. whoops).

Annnnnnnnd sometimes real people get off on a tangent and forget completely where they were going with the whole thing.

OH! Right-o!

So…tomorrow I start a program from Advocare called the 24 Day Challenge. It basically is designed to steer you back to healthy eating choices (and I’ll be incorporating exercise back in to the routine starting with Day 11).

And I’m gonna document it, dear readers. For you..for me..for posterity..who the eff knows? I just know that I’m gonna try to get through this thing and get back to some semblance of being in shape.

I weigh over 300 pounds. No, that’s not a type…that’s a three at the front of that number. It’s supposed to be 185..that’s my ‘IDEAL’ weight. But I’m not gonna lie, I would be happy as shit to be at 200.

Hell…I’m not picky. I really just want to be able to go dancing and not be completely winded and begging for death after dancing through Party Rock Anthem (don’t laugh, that’s my jam, right there!).

The intent is to make this some sort of ‘docu-diary’ or some shit like that (OH! sorry…I’m back to the movie idea, which really, is an extension of the 24 Day Challenge (because I didn’t have enough stress starting this so close to the holidays*). Heh. Yeah.

Well…doesn’t look like I can get the first clip uploaded. Guess you’ll have to just wait (at least until I figure it out. 🙂

Peace out.

Well, I uploaded the video to Facebook (they have a 1GB limit, not a 100MB limit). And here it is:

Enjoy (or not….at this point, this isn’t really for you, it’s for me…but if it helps you too, then cool).


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