Throat Punching Does Not Help

It’s been a while since I’ve wanted to throat punch someone.

And not just any ole throat punch. I’m talking about the one from the Matrix. Where Neo punches Agent Smith and Agent Smith deflects the punch and then Neo extends his closed fist in to a knife hand causing Agent Smith’s eyes to bulge and his throat to make that “guunnhhhh” sound.

That kind of throat punch.

Although, to be fair….the person I wanted to do it to would not have been able to block my first punch and would have had a broken nose. It’s really a limited application when you think about it. Which is why it does not often cross my mind.

But I thought about it yesterday.

Let me set up the scenario.

On Mondays/Wednesdays/Fridays, I work out. I do a one hour session of Hap Ki Do (Korean Martial Arts…and it’s no joke) and a 1 hour session of cardio kick-boxing. Also no joke. I typically do these back to back and usually burn about 1800-2100 calories when I do. This effectively doubles my caloric intake for the day.

Now, if you know much about exercise physiology, you know that you need to try to consume as much if not slightly more calories than your physical activity is going to burn. If you don’t have enough calories on hand, your body will take the calories from your muscle (it gives up energy quicker than fat).  That’s why there are people who can exercise for hours a week and never lose weight (and in some cases gain weight). If the fat/non-muscle calories ARE there, the body will burn those. And once it’s in fat burning mode, it will go ahead and burn some fat from your fat stores. You lose weight, you get muscle tone and definition. Everybody wins.

Therefore…on the days I know I’m doubling up, I will typically have a larger lunch than I do on my non-workout days.

Yesterday’s lunch was a delicious BBQ Pizza from Cottage Inn right around the corner from work.

And now the throat punching.

I’m sitting there in the break room, munching my pizza and reading some Scott Pilgrim when a co-worker walks in and starts razzing me about my lunch choices.

Now, FatTodd would have said “Fuck Yeah I’m going to eat this whole pizza!! What you got to say about that?!”

But I am not FatTodd.

And I was pissed.

How dare you assume that just because I’m bigger than your scrawny ass, I’m going to consume this entire pizza. You’ve never seen me eat a whole pizza. You’ve never noticed that my lunch choices are healthier than yours on a consistent basis. And you’ve apparently failed to notice that I could quite literally pound your smug, cynical smirk in to the faux pine veneer of this break-room table.

I didn’t say those things though. I smiled. And kept eating.

I didn’t have to explain or justify my actions to him. And when it comes to my dietary choices, I don’t have to explain or justify them to anyone.

He wasn’t the only one that assumed I was going to eat the whole thing (for the record, I only ever intended to eat 1/2. and I stuck to that).

And here’s the realization. I’ve hit a milestone. A milestone where I get pissed when people assume that I’m

Don’t fucking judge people by what they’re eating. I could do it. I could sit there and give a dissertation on the evils of pre-processed and frozen TV dinners that I see consumed in the office everyday. Or give my assuming co-worker a nice little lecture on the poisons of all the fast food that we as a society (let alone my co-workers including mister smirk) consume on a daily basis. But it’s not my place to offer unsolicited and patronizing comments on my co-workers culinary choices.

I could have lashed back and been just as much of a dick as they were being (whether knowingly or not).

But I kept my mouth shut and ate my pizza. Because I’m better than that. And they would have almost assuredly missed my point anyway.

Figured I’d vent about it here because the likelihood of anyone from work seeing it is slim.

And it’s not like I want to actually hurt anyone. I huff and puff, but rarely have I been in a situation where someone has provoked me enough to blow the house down. Besides, I love this job too much to get fired over something stupid.

It just pissed me off and hurt my feelings.  I’ve worked so hard to get to where I am and to be basically called a lard ass (in so many terms), was NOT fucking cool.

The good news is…I have leftover pizza for lunch 🙂

Peace Out

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