Porkins

Driving home today I closed the Nav App on my phone (Waze, if you’re dying to know)…and in my head I heard, “Luke…you’ve shut off your targeting computer…is anything wrong?”

And I laughed.

Because to be completely honest, nothing will freak someone the fuck out in traffic like passing someone who is alone in their car laughing like they just heard something ridiculously funny.   I don’t recommend doing the same in Panera, though. They aren’t quite so understanding.

So…that got me thinking…when I watched Star Wars for the first time, I wanted to be Luke. I mean, sure…the whining was a bit much.  And Tocshe Station is a dump…let’s be clear about that. But dude….light saber….hot chick (remember, this was PRE-incest revelation)…but yeah.

As I watch it now…I think…’yeah. I’m not so much that whiny bitch from Tattooine.”

No…I’m probably more like Porkins (which…really…least creative name ever.  Fat guy? Well…Lardimus Maximus won’t fly..let’s call him Porkins). Porkins beefs it, but dude..what a glorious on-screen-CHiPs in Space Car Over the Hill Explosion. Wowsers.

Or better yet…I’m like the bartender at the cantina in Mos Eisley. Just a regular dude with a beef against droids (clearly he’s never been to adult bingo…but I digress).

I mean, the man earns an honest wage when he’s not letting fugitives meet in his back room or serving milk in 70s Tupperware cups to violent offenders.

His only line in the movie?

“No Blasters!! No Blasters!!”
Well…ok…there’s the line about the droids not being served, but that makes this whole thing less humorous than I already imagine it is.

Where the hell was I going with this?

Yeah…no idea.  Other than to say…I think I could have definitely been a Y-Wing Pilot.

It’s funny to me…I can look at this and know the exact moment it jumped off the rails, but I don’t care.

If you haven’t figured it out yet…the blog is like the little metal cap on a pressure cooker. When the pressure gets to be too much, that little cap lifts up  and reveals a hole, out of which steam is released. Not all of it…just enough to reduce the pressure and the cap falls back down over the hole.

Life is like that sometimes. And this blog, is how the steam gets let off. It’s different from the other writing that I do in that this is freeform random bullshit off the top of my head.

OK…so maybe it’s not so different from my other writings.

Speaking of that… I really need to get some more writing done. I’m thinking I’ll have some time on the trip to Houston. It’s for work, but generally the evenings will be free.

Stay on target…stay on target.

Have a great evening folks. 🙂

-A.T.