Spoiler Alert

Spoiler Alert…your favorite character on The Walking Dead is dead.

No. Really. It’s true.

They all are. The show is called The Walking Dead for fuckssakes.

Did you miss the part early on where they were at the CDC and found out that everyone was infected?  At that point I pretty much figured it would be a matter of time before someone I dug beefed it on the show (so far Maggie is still kicking it, so I’m holding out hope).

And I long ago stopped caring that it didn’t follow the comics.

Spoiler Alert…I’m something of an asshole.   And I say that only because I have friends..and you probably have them too, that are very vehement about everyone NOT posting the spoilers.  The posts usually go something like this:

Stuck at work tonight…NO SPOILERS!! I can’t watch TWD until tomorrow!

Srsly you guys—no spoilers.

Aww man…I heard TWD is getting intense!! It’s DVR’ing right now. NO SPOILERS!!!!

Invariably someone will say something because…well..it’s Facebook and did you really expect the tsunami that is social media to give a rat’s ass that you’re pulling a double at Stuckey’s on a Sunday night?  Ummm. No. So then it gets all…


Which makes me giggle even more because they have just done the one thing they pleaded with their ‘friends’ not to do.  Which is spoil it for someone else.

If you want to avoid spoilers, you will have to avoid the internet and any kind of entertainment news source for the duration of a series. Or..I dunno…just get over it? Accept the fact that someone is going to talk about it. That’s EXACTLY what the producers want. Chatter. Buzz. Conversation. Crazy theories about how Lori isn’t really dead at all or Rick’s actually in a coma brought on by being shot in the very first episode.

I myself have a fairly good system…I wait so long to watch a series that it doesn’t matter.  For example…Season 6 (the current season) of Walking Dead wont’ be on Netflix for at least a year.

If I remember 1/2 of what I read on Facebook today before my head hits the pillow, I’ve got bigger problems than Michonne getting pummeled with a 5 Gallon Steel gas can. Oops. Did I spoil that? Didn’t happen on this week’s episode you say? Hmmm.  You know that the TV series is based on comic books, right? And that the comic books are ahead of the series in the timeline, right?  OK. Just checking.

Point is…it’s not going to matter when I sit down to watch the show.  Because I won’t remember that stuff 12 months from now.  I don’t know if it’s because I’m crazy and there’s just so much shit floating around in my head that by the time I sit down to watch a show, I don’t care what you said about it before. Or is it because I can just watch something and be totally caught in the moment without having to overanalyze it?

Dunno.  Could be both. Could be neither.  Funny thing is…I can’t do that with my real-world interactions. I can’t turn off the part of the brain that overthinks things to death.

When I write…I can lock on to that story flow like nobody’s business. But if I’m having a conversation with you in real life, there’s a good chance I’ve thought through 4 different ways the conversation could go and have already been pissed at you for at least 2 of them.

It’s a gift. Maybe.

I don’t know.  I’m still not really sure how to parlay that in to something that will translate in to extra pizza and beer money.

Maybe it won’t.  Maybe you’re sitting there thinking that this blog you’re reading is a waste and you wonder why I even write it to begin with.

A). I write it because I have to. There is a need buried deep in my DNA that compels me to tell stories.

B). Glenn isn’t really dead. Calm down.

C). I lied. They’re all dead, remember?

And speaking of them all being dead. I was driving home tonight staring at the huge moon hanging low in the sky and was thinking to myself  What a crazy metaphor. There is the moon. I know that logically the moon didn’t grow gigrundous overnight. It’s still the same size moon. but it LOOKS MASSIVE.

And that led me to wonder…how many super moons are in my life right now? Things that I know, logically, are no bigger or more important than they ever were but that seem massive right now because of some trick of the light?

And from there, I somehow got to thinking about the things that scare us.  Is a thing more terrifying if it knows right from wrong and still chooses evil anyway? Or is a thing more terrifying simply because its sole purpose is to kill?

Zombies are generally regarded as mindless killers. The Werewolf, it its animal form, also wild.  Are these things with their blood lust more terrifying than the vampire, who kills to feed–knowing it’s wrong. Or the alien to whom we ascribe superior intellect conducting its seemingly barbaric experiments on the unwitting cow poke.

To me the scariest is the one that forges ahead, so far out of touch with who it has become and where it came from. Singleminded in its quest to be the top of the food chain. Shark, Lawyer, or Politician come to mind at first blush. That may seem to be put in for comedic relief, but I’m not kidding. Some of that shit keeps me up at night.

I’m not sure how we got here. Again, par for the course for my regular readers.

Spoiler Alert, Random is in the name.

And with that, I’m off.

Have a great rest of your evening my friends.


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