I Really Hate to do This, but

Something’s been bugging me for a while. It’s the notion that if you disagree with a particular President of the United States whose name happens to rhyme with ‘Forge Tush, ‘ then my friends, you hate God, America, and FoxNEWS. What’s worse…you might even be one of them liberals (I was hoping Blogger wouldn’t censor such a dirty word).

And here’s the thing. I’m none of the above. I don’t affiliate with any particular political slant. I think there are pros and cons to each and am constantly amazed that 2 parties is enough for most people. Although, I have to admit, I’m not a fan of FoxNEWS (fair and what?). And I happen to think our current president is like one of those lottery winners you see that wins and says all of this cool altruistic stuff that they’re going to do with their winnings and 2 months later you see them drinking Boone’s Farm from a brown paper sack because they simply couldn’t handle that much money…that much power to be as stupid as they could possibly be.

I’m not here to get into my political views, because, quite frankly I don’t spend more than 15minutes a month thinking about politics or current events (30 seconds per day of ‘friendly’ work chit chat about current events/politics is about all I can stand before wondering how people I respect could arouse such nausea simply by telling me what I “should” know). You want to play a fun game? The next time someone asks you what you think about the latest this or that, just stare blankly at them and smile. You will laugh out loud (inside of course) at how flabbergasted someone gets that you don’t know (or more importantly, care) about what politician got caught paying WAY too much for sex. It’s great at parties, too.

I don’t care about the presidential race. You know why? (pay attention closely here)…Because the President doesn’t run the country. Our country is run by the corporations. The corporations supplement the politicians meager salary with ‘gifts’ that are delivered by special eunuchs called ‘lobbyists.’ Don’t believe me? Check out who benefits more often than not from the Acts that Congress pass. G’head. I’ll wait. All the bills are posted on the Congressional website. Don’t feel like weeding through all that technical mumbo jumbo in a bill? That’s ok. Me either.

Anyway…politics. Yeah. Don’t care. Don’t bother posting replies here about how uneducated and stupid I am for not caring. And please don’t tell me that I’m anti-America. If I were truly Anti-America, I would get the f**k out. Seriously. I took 8 years of French. I could get by quite nicely in Canada, merci.

So, Todd…just what the holy bat caves IS this post about?

Glad you asked.

I was reading the notice today from the IRS about the Economic Stimulus package I’m gonna be getting later this year and just got to thinking (I know, dangerous in these crazy times) about WHAT economy it’s actually supposed to stimulate.

Here’s the dealio. I get $600 (well, up to $600), my wife gets up to $600…and we get up to $300 per kid. So…we stand to get up to $1800. Woohoo. That’s cool. That could help us, because for some reason (that I still can’t quite figure out), we OWE federal income tax this year.


I’m not going to get my fat package of up to $1800 until MAY?? Are you kidding me? OK. Fine. Whatever. It will be a spring time bonus.

But here’s the weird thing. We’re supposedly in this huge trillion dollar deficit, right? So where’s the money coming from? I don’t know. I didn’t read the act. And I am not trusting ANY of the news sources (but especially not the LIBERAL media, because those f**kers are crazy). So, the money. It’s a mystery. And then I got to thinking….man….that’s a lot of dough. So I popped on over to http://factfinder.census.gov and took a lookie at the US Population Clock. It’s currently looking about like this:

U.S. Population Clock

02:53 GMT (EST+5) Mar 16, 2008


So, if I’m reading that right, there are 303,640,914 Americans. I know not all of them will get this package. Let’s assume that 10% won’t qualify for the fatcheckinMay for whatever reason. That takes us to 273,276,822 or so. Now, I’m just going to assume that we’ll all get $300 each (since that’s the amount per child, and each adult will get up to $600). So…just with those numbers:

273,276,822 x $300 = (get ready)…


So…we’re like…trillions in debt already and we just want to chuck $81 Billion back at the problem.

You know what’s REALLY funny?? Is that that number has absolutely NO meaning. I don’t know what a Billion dollars looks like. I don’t know what a Million dollars physically looks like.

I guess there wasn’t really a point to this. I was all fired up about the Government borrowing another $80+Billion to give me my fatcheckinMay…but as I actually typed this number, I realized that it doesn’t really matter. Whoever gets hired in as President will invariably take that money back one way or another.

Wow. What a f**king waste. There’s 20 minutes of my life I’m not going to get back. Sorry about that. Turns out, you wasted your time reading this (hopefully you read it quicker than I wrote it. Sure, I could have warned you at the beginning…put some warning that this really was just a bullshit post and to not waste your time, but why should I be the only one that suffers?) I thought I had something insightful to offer…turns out I’m just grumpy that I have to wait until May to get my “I Heart America and I’m gonna spend my money on shit made somewhere other than America” check.


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